It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Someone came in the potted fern
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
