i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
