I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
