i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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