I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
