It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
