So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
