I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
