he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
