I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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