im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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