mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
