Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
