Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
