I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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