Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
