he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
