nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
