This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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