Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Terrible idea I love it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
