i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
