is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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