the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize