She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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