dude i'm inner monologue high
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
