either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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