I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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