so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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