i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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