oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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