eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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