woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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