I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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