Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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