he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
my poor anus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
