It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
