The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
