You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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