I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
