You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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