woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
