we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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