I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
