the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
