You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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