I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
