i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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