i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
