I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
