When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
