i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
