I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
