Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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