So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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