she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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