the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
