1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
