Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
