I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
