Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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