We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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