More tranny stories later!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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