we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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