I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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