"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
